Are you Psychic? 7 Psychic Abilities You Might Have
by Alison Maiden
A phenomena that appear to contradict physical laws and suggest the possibility of causation/happening by mental processes
Everyone has psychic ability to some degree. From a simple “gut instinct” through to seeing future events. You can develop your natural gifts through meditation, workshops and simply by understanding the gifts you already have!
Here are the seven psychic abilities:
Clair voyance
Clear seeing: The ability to see or have visions: Clairvoyant mediums have the ability to “see” things presented to them in the Mind’s eye or the Third eye. We see these visions as mental flashes which include pictures of people, scenes, places, objects, spirit, symbols and colours.
Clair audience
Clear Hearing: The ability to “hear” messages from the spirit realm. Messages are being transmitted directly into your mind. At times you may hear a non- descript voice call your name or a mix of voices like listening to a radio.
Clair empathy
Sensing emotion: Everyone can sense emotion but Empathic mediums sense or feel emotions from individuals or spirits. You have the ability to access other people’s emotions and can sense their happiness, joy, elation, pride, sadness, anger and fear.
Clair sentience
Sensing feeling: This is commonly described as ‘gut feeling’ or intuition. You have the ability to sense and feel emotions from spirit both positive and negative. These feelings are being transmitted by your guides and are clearly different from your own feelings. You can receive warnings this way as in feeling that something is not right or get an excited, elated feeling when something wonderful is about to happen.
Clair alience
Sense of smell: An ability to smell a fragrance or odour that is being transmitted by the spirit. Each time, the people around cannot usually smell the odour. It can be related to the spirit who is sending the message such as smelling cigarettes or pipe tobacco for someone who smoked or the person’s favourite perfume.
Clair gustance
Sense of taste: You can “taste” essences being transmitted by spirit. Spirit can transfer a character or behavior influence to us and sometimes it comes in the form of a flavour. This is usually something that they loved while they were in body.
Clair tangency
Touch or feeling: This is also known as Psychometry. You are able to receive a message by touching or holding an object in your hands. The object is personal and has the vibration of the owner in the composition or material of the item.
You can tell the personality of the owner and perhaps see, hear or feel situations that are going on around the person, past or present. Psychics usually have one or more of these gifts which can be used on its own or all together, the most common would be clairsentience, nearly everyone would say at some point in their lives they have used the “gut feeling”. One to three is common but it is rare to have all of the psychic senses.
Do you have psychic abilities? Share your experiences with us in the comments below!
Note:
Over 30% of all people believe in the existence of Psychic abilities in some form.
Topic: How can we create more peace and love with our significant other?
11/1/2020
This topic will cover all relationships in our life.
Taken from Lori Deschene, founder of the publication “Tiny Buddha”
We make countless mistakes in relationships. We expect too much, or not asking for what we need in fear of rocking the boat. We are sometimes too competitive, too suspicious or too dependent; all in the quest for that perfect something.
Being self-aware, is far more valuable than being perfect-mostly because the former is attainable and helpful, while the latter is neither.
Question: Should we strive for:
Perfection
Improvement
Awareness
We know that relationships are not easy. We have thoughts and feelings that can be confusing to us. When acted upon inappropriately, they could have damaging effects on a relationship.
Lori Deschene came up with a list of ideas that, when applied, she feels could help us to feel confident, strong, compassionate and peaceful in our relationships. Whether it is with our spouse, significant other, friend, family member or coworker.
Our discussion today is to look at these suggestion, and talk to the benefits, detriment, challenges in implementing each into your daily life.
Do what you need to do for you (with below commentary summary)
We tend to put others first. Maybe need of approval
Doing what is best for you, may ultimately be doing what is best for others
Hard for women—thought by society to put others first. Taking care of home and family before self. New generation is changing
Do what you need for you to serve the great good?
Give people the benefit of the doubt (with below commentary summary)
Some people have egos and self-esteem problems. How do we get around this natural tendency?
Never attribute to malice when it could be stupidity. Give benefit of doubt
Allow people the opportunity to prove themselves.
Be open to others ideas and learning, and not take it personally.
Approach to this depends on the type of relationship. If you see patterns with friends that have to right all the time.
Look at yourself for the problem first (with below commentary summary)
Take a long hard look at self first before dealing with difficult relationship.
b- Maybe grew to point that I no longer needed the drama in my life.
Use the art of compromise.
What adjustment can I make to make things better?
11/15/2020
Be mindful of projecting (with below commentary summary)
Denying your own traits and then ascribing them to the outside world or other people.
Damien said, “not what you’re look at, it is what you are looking through”.
Projecting example: being chronically late for everything; there is always a reason outside of our control.
Not every perception is negative. However we need to be realistic.
Can be positive and pragmatic. Try to be pragmatist with a certain amount of optimism.
Projecting – I am the projector. What I am seeing in other is really me. They are the screen
Be aware that our projections affect how we see and approach someone else.
Choose your battles (with below commentary summary)
Don’t have to always get our point across.
Try for 30 seconds to have no opinion about anything. So often we identify ourselves with our opinions.
How do you not have an opinion? You can keep it to yourself.
Silence our internal dialogue will silence our opinions. It take practice.
Also ask how much importance we give to our opinions.
Once check with our heart regarding my opinion, then decide if this is a battle I need to fight. What is my purpose? Will this change anything? Choose what you want to engage in.
Next Discussion: 12/6/2020
Confront compassionately and clearly
Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable
Think before acting on emotion
Maintain boundaries
Enjoy their company more than their approval
________________________________________________
Discussion commentary Detail
We will look at each one of these and see if they are attainable.
I find #1 difficult. I tend to put other people first. I may need approval and put others first to get that approval.
Do not drop your own needs for the sake of someone else. Do what is best for self, will do what is best for someone else. Put out the best energy you can.
Hard to do. Women are taught in this society to put others first. Thought of as selfish if don’t. Gave example of mother preparing food for family and not eating until all have eaten. Those in older generation went through this all the time. New generations rebelling, which is good.
Think statement is if people more open about needs, relationship will be more peaceful. If not open will bring resentment. Honest about your needs. When two people are actively taking care of each other’s needs, more peace.
Should we think of greater good or should be thinking only of what we need? Better worded to say – do what you need for you to serve the great good?
#2 – Give people the benefit of the doubt.
Some people have egos or self-esteem problems. How do we get around the natural tendencies?
Say at UMS – what you resist, persists.
Do we agree with statement #2? Can’t always do. How do you do it?
If have, but don’t turn out right. Creates difficult if dealing with same group of people all the time.
Others perspectives may be valid for them, but not for me. Understand their perspective is valid for them. Context is important.
Was thinking in terms of what some person has done or said?
Never attribute to malice when it could be stupidity. Give benefit of doubt and allow people the opportunity to prove themselves. Let people know and give opportunity to prove themselves.
Gave example of spouse doing laundry. Why am I resisting when I didn’t know what I am being told? Changing my resistance to others ideas or opinions – being open to new ideas – it can be learning. Brings more peace to me inside. More peace to relationship. Be open to others ideas and learning and not take it personally. Was it really his intention to say I’m stupid? No. Other’s intentions are not to be hurtful but sharing their ways of doing things. Think this is qualifying word for this statement is intention.
How do you help create that with other person, both have to be on the same page regarding the benefit of the doubt?
The more each of us is willing to be open to other person’s ideas we model this way of being to the other. Then that person will be that way also. One person has to start. This is metaphysics.
Approach to this depends on the type of relationship. If see patterns with friends that have to right all the time.
Speak about these directly. Sometime I get ahead of myself. Don’t need to be authority or right. Say “I tried this what do you think?” Be empowering. Try not offer unsolicited advice. In my mind something may be clear, but is not necessarily right for someone else. Not make about right or wrong.
Another one of item is “confront compassionately”. How it is received is how it is presented.
#3 – Look at yourself for the problem first. – Take a long hard look at self first when dealing with difficult relationship. Before acting on something with the assumption that someone else is to blame, examine self first.
Look for solution within self that could resolve, or help to resolve differences. The art of compromise.
11/15/2020
Continuing discussion from 11/1/2020.
How can we create more peace and love with our significant other?
This topic is relevant for the whole country right now. A journey starts with one person and one step. We are going to start with us.
During our last discussion we went through the first three of the 10 way to have peaceful, loving relationships.
#4- Be mindful of projecting. Projecting refers to denying your own traits and then ascribing them to the outside world or other people.
If I am not aware I can project my morality onto someone else.
Observe behavior in someone else and make assumptions as to what is going on in someone else. Project our assumptions onto someone.
Damien said, “not what you’re look at, it is what you are looking through”.
Our “perception of perfection”. If expect perfection of ourselves, expect of others. It has nothing to do with the other, it has to do with ourselves.
Everything I experience is mine, are my perceptions, developed over my lifetime. Everything is perception.
Projecting example: being chronically late for everything; there is always a reason outside of our control. We never admit it is us. We don’t see in us – see in everything else out there. If we never see the real reason is us, we see no reason to change.
Not every perception is negative. However we need to be realistic.
If always positive will we set ourselves up to have a hard time dealing with things as they are?
Most beneficial to say everything will be ok, or, say you do have these issues which spurs you to be proactive?
Don’t think only two. Can be positive and pragmatic. Try to be pragmatist with a certain amount of optimism.
All these, are an effort to see these problem within ourselves and not someone else.
Projecting – I am the projector. What I am seeing in other is really me. They are the screen?
Thinking that is taking it too far. Projecting is making assumption of what is going on in someone else.
Film is your beliefs. Person is screen. Still project some film onto surface. Be aware of what I am running through projector and onto others.
What we focus on grows. Think so many sayings on positivity are to point you into that focus in every situation. Be positive. There is something I can do. I have personal example of projection. Phone conversation regarding charity function. I projected to the person I was speaking with that her spiritual practices were the same as mine.
Go back to awareness. Be aware of our own projection. We project all the time. We see through our own lens. Be aware that our projections affect how we approach someone else.
Re-reading from Lori Deschene’s writings, “We make countless mistakes in relationship. We expect too much. Or not asking for what we need in fear of rocking the boat. We are sometimes too competitive, too suspicious or too dependent; all in the quest for that perfect something.
Being self-aware, is far more valuable than being perfect-mostly because the former is attainable and helpful, while the latter is neither.”
Just be aware. Then have the opportunity to do something about it.
Take away screen, work on projector.
#5 Choose Your Battles
It is better to be aware than perfect. People are all different. Don’t have to have a fight about it. Don’t have to always get our point across.
Try for 30 seconds to have no opinion about anything. So often we identify ourselves with our opinions. Then who are we?
How do you not have an opinion? I can keep it to myself.
Silence our internal dialogue will silence our opinions. It takes practice.
Think important to step outside ourselves and not let our thoughts and opinions be so dominate.
Also ask how much importance we give to our opinions.
Once check with our heart regarding my opinion, then decide if this is a battle I need to fight. What is my purpose? Will this change anything? Choose what you want to engage in. Really do want to think about how impact situation. Will it make relationship better or worse? Think and decide what you want for outcome.
Question – if don’t have a job, is it easier to not have to voice your opinion?
At work we are paid for our opinions.
Retired or not, you have the right to say if something bothers you, can let them know.
Discussion will continue on 12/6/2020. We will put the notes from the first two discussions on this topic on the website for your review.
It examines the fundamental nature of reality including the relationship between:
Mind and matter (mental and the physical)
Substance and attribute (Physical makeup and quality/feature)
Potentiality and actuality. (Abilities for change and what is)
The word “metaphysics” comes from two Greek words that, together, literally mean “after or behind or among [the study of] the natural”.
The discipline that studies what is beyond the material.
Views and Practices:
Materialist Metaphysician
All things can be understood materially without turning to any supernatural forces. (pure logic)
Pantheistic Metaphysician (a softer view)
There is no real difference between the ideas of “God” and “the world.”
A Spiritualistic Metaphysician
Focusses on the soul that dwells within you (the supreme self)
Aims at shaping the individual self (improve, evolve)
Makes a person strong in mind (awake, thinking, reasoning)
Aims at building the strength of the soul (to be self-sufficient)
Aims at making one ready to combat any situation in life
Metaphysicians seek to study and understand what is meant by “free will” as opposed to determinism and if the two can be reconciled. They also seek to provide rational arguments, sometimes drawing from modern science, for or against free will.
Major Religions
Involves dogma and rigid beliefs
Organizational in structure.
Organized and structured by leaders.
Views and Practices:
Attempt to offer an explanation of how and why anything at all, and people in particular, exist in the world
The world exists because of a God or gods.
Rely on either free will or determinism as a foundational point in their ethical systems.
Religious theologians, often argue for a personal God or for the theological views presented by their specific religions.
Some religions discourage the questioning of religious doctrines and encourage dogmatic rather than critical metaphysics
Theology:
A subsection of philosophy
Interested in examining God and the divine.
Invites contributions from both metaphysics and religion.
Important questions in theology:
The existence of God
The possibility of knowing God,
The role of God in creating and directing the universe.
Sunday Discussion 10/4/2020
Metaphysics is a Philosophy, not a religion.
Fluid, personal, customizable. Does not adhere to a fixed set of rules.
Think metaphysics is free thought and higher self.
To me there is consciousness and energy through everything and we are all connected to it.
There is a personal responsibility and personal power that come with this awareness. It is not for everyone. Helps to develop awareness of, and ability to listen to your own inner voice. Think some people are afraid of that.
Q: Why do the authorities from organized religion not want you to recognize your personal power?
A: Want to preserve hierarchy and authoritarianism and things to stay the same.
Q: People don’t gravitate to metaphysics because we have this sense. Why wouldn’t they want this for themselves?
A: A lot of people raised in dogmatic religion. That is playing with fire, something not good will happen to me. Don’t want to mess with any of that. Fear.
Q: Where did this fear come from? Innate within person, or is it taught?
A: Ignorance is bliss. A lot of responsibility comes with knowledge. People are afraid of anything that is not part of the physical world.
Religions indoctrinate – taught us that all who weren’t in their religion were going to hell. Fear of eating of the apple of knowledge. Hard to get away from this.
Just imagine, one of the first part of a religious teaching is the fear of knowledge – don’t eat the apple.
Metaphysics goes beyond the physical, and into the mind and the spirit. Those who are more aware of this beyond, become the scientist for the broad spectrum of religion. They challenge the tenants of religion. They help to make more sense of the world through inquiry. They go beyond experiential world.
I don’t want to feed you fish, I want to teach you how to fish. Many ways to fish.
Meta – searching for spiritual laws. Physical – seeking for universal laws on spiritual level.
Meta – Comprehensive or transcending.
Understanding about causation. Metaphysics more focuses on causation of mental and spiritual process. Put as much emphasis on these as well as the physical.
Sunday Discussion continued 10/18/2020
As listed in the beginning of our discussion, a spiritualistic metaphysician focuses on the soul that dwells within you (the supreme self) and aims at shaping the individual self by improving and evolving. Metaphysics more focuses on causation of mental and spiritual process. These are the aspects of metaphysics that stand out for me. My experience of spiritual metaphysics is it teaches us to look within at our spiritual and physical nature. We then have an opportunity to learn, develop and change as we examine ourselves. We can heal ourselves and mature emotionally, gain in emotional intelligence. What has been your experience?
Studying metaphysics, from late teens, used as a filter for everything in life. To take responsibility for my reality instead of someone else’s. Everything I experienced that I react to, but why did I create it and when did I create it? I can’t imagine not having this filter. I am not responsible for anyone else’s reality.
For me metaphysics means I am using my own higher power, authentic self, evolving over time. I am checking within to see best choices for myself. That is my higher power. I am worthy of the friendship and love from my higher self. Saying – Do as you will, but harm to none. Whatever you do there is a cause in motion and return to you three times. We are creating.
Noticing in 20’s hadn’t found what I needed. There must be more. Performing in clubs is a lot of outer stuff. Tough lifestyle. Felt empty, not fulfilling. Became curious, questioning how things were working for me Started meeting other people who directed me to go within. Also looking into healing – alternative healing modalities. Spiritual being living a human life.
Being a metaphysician is a conscious decision, it is work. Others don’t realize they can control themselves.
Metaphysics taught me that everyone grows in their own time. I have no business judging where other are. They are doing the best they can where they are at the time. Realizing your parents are just people doing the best they can. If you can see this with your parents, you can do with everyone.
Metaphysics is learning to understand the great teachings of other religions and incorporate into what you are learning. Listen and study all different religions. Learn about your life with all of these. Don’t be afraid. Metaphysics will help you understand it and get through life. We learn from each other. These times are just part of life’s lessons.
You never know who will be a teacher to you. You need both a protagonist and an antagonist. The person who challenges you most could be the greatest teacher you ever had.
Only speak for myself what my spiritual path has done for me. I had judged someone spiritually and it did come back to me. All are on the path. Different situations.
Become more open minded to people of other religions when practices metaphysics. Metaphysicians are interested in other religions.
It could be a trap to say the way I think is better than another. Begins to set up dividing lines. Me and others. We are all part of the all.
Q: Is judging yourself more accepting versus judging others?
A: Mine is the only consciousness I can judge.
Q: Does self-assessment mean self judgement?
A: I can assess myself. I need to remind myself not to judge myself. I am just as deserving as everyone else of compassion.
Believe judging comes from the ego mind and creates separateness also with ourselves. Assessment – inventory of self. See assessment of another is observing.
When look at people who believe differently from you, you may feel that if I listen to them I may find out I am wrong and can feel threatened.
Q: Mentioned all on own journey, where we are supposed to be. If no contrast, nothing to compare against. Do we have responsibility to help point out another way to someone else? Get someone into another thought process.
A: Depend on type of relationship have with person. Being able to discern when it is appropriate time to share. Can ask them what they need. But at what point would we be interfering? How do we know they may not need a certain experience for growth?
Observing an interaction between two people. Can say how you feel about it. Own your own feelings. Can offer these feelings. But can’t assume what other person wants or needs
You can only open a door. They are going to walk path. Let them do it.
Be the light at the end of the tunnel. Be an example. Come from your place, not from their place. No judgement. Metaphysics is customizable. Depends on the circumstances. Based on individual needs.
Believe there is no right or wrong. When I speak to God, speak to God within me. To me just a way of living. Part of my nature. Our creation – how did we get here? How does science and creation come together? How do we come to be as a human being? Is there an answer?
Don’t think anyone has the answer.
All on the same journey. Some embrace the mystery. Some research.
Again dealing with current events relative to racial injustice, coronavirus, and politics. I am seeing and hearing of folks being in a state of panic and even one of mild depression.
-Panic primarily stemming from stress and fear
-Depression, in this case, stemming from a feeling of hopelessness and despair
It appears that these conditions will be with us for quite a while.
As metaphysicians, we generally believe that we are spiritual being having a human experience. How can we leverage this knowledge to guide us through these challenging times? Keep in mind that these are challenges for today, there were challenges in the past, and there will be challenges in the future.
What are your fundamental set of principles, perspectives and practices that will guide you, and help diminish the possibility of falling into these negative mental and emotional states or, that will help you out of these states?
To kick things off, I want to mention four ideas from the teaching of Eckhart Tolle that I believe are relevant to our discussion today:
We live in two worlds
Form / doing
Being / the transcendent dimension
The universe evolves through:
Order and disorder
Order and chaos
The evolution of consciousness goes into disorder or regression before the next level of evolution happens.
The evolution of consciousness is inevitable.
So; are things unfolding just as they should, as planned? Or
Is this an opportunity to advance into the next level of evolution, on both the personal and the collective consciousness levels?
How do we put all this into perspective to keep us out of panic and depression or, in my case, just feeling that I are caring around a heavy anchor that I just can’t put down? This can makes you feel very tire.
Go.
Discussion Notes
Thoughts, ideas and remedies shared:
What is it specifically that you are feeling that is hard to manage right now?
Pandemic limits our ability to move, congregate, it is scary, out of our control, and we have no solutions. I have issue with the racial tension, and in my case, I am black and in the middle of it. I do think heavily about politics in this election year. Things I am thinking are not positive. There are unpleasant things constantly going on in my mind that makes me tired.
These issues really sound like uncertainty. There is no certainty from one moment to the next. If we are striving for certainty, we are striving for something impossible. Certainty is fantasy.
If there is going to be uncertainty now and in the future how do we put into perspective?
What you are feeling is not unusual and a lot of people are feeling the same. Try to keep self healthy, and happy. Tomorrow will take care of itself.
As metaphysician, how do we position ourselves to ride this out and position ourselves for the next time?
We are all grieving loss of life as we once knew it. We are all going through different levels of grief. Final level is acceptance. Allow ourselves to feel fully, and not suppress these feelings.
Think about how one can contribute with positive actions. There will be a rebirth that happens out of this. What we are going through is impermanent. So, transcend this impermanence through meditation. Witness what is going on without attachments. Otherwise, every single day would be difficult to handle.
In Astrological terms – Things are always moving. Whatever we are in now will not stay this way. Everything is going to change.
Eckhart Tolle suggests that we live more in the world of being, as opposed to the world of form/doing. This helps to escape suffering.
Ok, how do we get there?
Racial issues weigh heavily going back to horrible crimes of slavery hundreds of years ago.
We need to come to a place in our own minds and hearts where we can see each person as a spiritual being, and part of the great oneness.
We will then more likely see these actions as horrible inflictions upon ourselves.
Uncertain times can be uncomfortable, and don’t always come with obvious and custom made answers. So, we need to become comfortable with being uncomfortable.
We need to educate ourselves, listen to people’s experiences and look to be a part of the solution. Pain and uncomfortableness are not for us to run away from or get depressed about. They may be just what we need to spur us into action; to determine where our hearts are, and what our next step should be.
Eckhart Tolle calls this– going through a period of awakening. Awakening from living in ego and the collective unconscious. When we start seeing the problems and issues before us, we begin to awaken and rise above. This is a good thing. From here we can work on solutions which should always be done as a spiritual exercise.
Many of us are worrying about things we can’t fix, can’t control. Stop worrying about things in the world we can’t control.
Some of us think more about our spirituality in the benefits of nature. We may not meditate, but do remember to sit and breathe. This puts us more at ease. Think of things that brought us joy. When we feel things that grieve us, we consciously move these feeling from third chakra up to the fourth chakra, the heart, and give it love.
Some people can’t turn things off, and are compelled to do. We cannot just be. We then need to understand the duality of our existence; the being, and the doing. Some challenges do require action. However, doing should always be done from a spiritual perspective, in order to stay out of the ego. Instead of demonizing a situation or person, keep a spiritual and positive perspective. Know that this is evolution in action, and that evolution is inevitable, and positive.
In Hinduism, there is an idea of two path of enlightenment: Meditation, sit on mountain, focus attention etc., another path is devotional labor. No matter what is being done: dishes, digging ditch, everything you do with spirit of devotion as if offering to the Devine. It is less about ego and more about the being state.
This year, 2020, gave us a lot of focus. Many have awoken from sleeping on a lot of issues. We have seen things that were seemingly orderly, turn into disorder and chaos. Because of this awakening, we see many things differently now. That is evolution in action.
In this time, unless you stay home and talk to no one, and do not access social media you are going to come face to face with a comment or action that totally rubs you the wrong way.
Three issues that are stirring up much talk right now are around the subjects of:
Racial prejudice
COVID-19
Office of the President.
We can: (Action)
Avoid engagement at all cost
Have cautious engagement
Have flat out confrontations.
Keeping in mind that we may have responsibilities to:
Our selves; mental emotional and moral
Our family
Our country
Society
Question: (for discussion)
As a spiritual person how do we navigate through all these different issues, and, fulfill all of our responsibilities?
Which of these responsibilities are important, and which are not?
What would be your reasoning for action and fulfilling responsibilities?
As a spiritual person do you go through all of the possible repercussions of each actin, and decide what action should be taken?
(One good thing of doing this would be slowing down to respond not react.)
Our action is to:
Be true to ourselves – To learn?
Lead by example – To teach? (What example are you setting?)
Same determining process, from different perspective/desire
Am I ok with a possible diminished relationship because of the action I choose?
Post discussion notes
We made a ton of notes covering the points, ideas, suggestions, personal approaches etc. However, as notes, very disjointed with much need for cleanup. However there is really no need, as one of our participating members did a fantastic job recapping from her own set of notes:
This is the recap as excerpted from Rochelle Cooper’s Facebook post, in the newly formed “A Metaphysical Discussion Group by UMS Church of Arizona”.
Many difficult conversations are floating around in the world right now. Racial issues, COVID, politics, and more. How do we as spiritual people handle these conversations? Do we go into denial? Do we ignore them? How can we handle them in a spiritually responsible way? Do we avoid or confront these issues?
As metaphysicians, our actions are based on being true to ourselves. But we also have responsibilities to our families, and to society. Which of these responsibilities takes priority for each of us?
When we act, do we think about pleasing ourselves, or whether we might be hurting others? Do we feel the need to set an example for others with our behavior?
Some of choose to control what we expose ourselves to in the world, because the more we expose ourselves to certain lines of thought, the more they become part of our realities. Some of us choose not to engage in issues that might make us part of the polarization that is dividing humanity at this moment.
Others of us want to engage in a way that makes us feel good, without worrying about how we make the other party feel.
Some of us have concerns that whatever we might add to a conversation is not going to shift the thinking of others, so why bother?
Some of us are unsure which road to take. Do we avoid engaging in the conflicts for the sake of our own sanity? Is this a means of self- care, as we remember that one cannot pour from an empty cup? Or is lack of engagement a byproduct of privilege? Some of us have feelings of guilt that not getting involved makes us cowards or not useful.
Some of us don’t engage in the debates because we don’t have personal experience with the issues others are facing directly, and we aren’t sure what we can add to the conversation.
Some of us avoid the stress by not being involved in social media at all.
There are those of us who decide how open we should be with others based on our relationship. We ask questions like, “Is this relationship valuable enough to me that I don’t want to jeopardize it by creating an argument? Do I want to lose this friend or family member?” Some of us are willing to avoid difficult conversations for the sake of relationships, while others operate under the philosophy that they don’t need to be in a relationship with someone who is bringing toxic energy to the table.
Everyone has a different approach to these issues. Some of us are instigators who create the conversations for others to take part in and hear. Some of us are listeners who don’t participate, but listen and absorb information.
Nelson Mandela said, “One of the most difficult things is not to change society—but to change yourself.” If we take care of ourselves, work on becoming our own highest good, it will affect all of the others around us. Some of us valued this approach over expending effort trying to change how others think.
Finding common ground with others can be a way to have respectful discussions. At the same time, we must also know how to pick our battles, for our own sanity.
It was mentioned that sometimes it’s good for conversations to just be out there, available, for the benefit of those who are seeing and listening, even if we don’t change the mind of the person we’re directly engaged with. Another person might see the conversation and feel supported and heard, or it might help open their mind on a topic without us even knowing it.
We have to ask ourselves, “What is the desired outcome of these conversations?” If it’s for Us to be Right and Them to be Wrong, then all real communication breaks down and we are simply yelling into the void. If the goal is rapport and understanding, then a different approach is needed.
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How about you? How do you approach these difficult conversations?
You are reading this in the Blog section of the UMS Website.
Feel free to comment or share your thoughts and ideas here. We would love to hear from you!
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